Hotties Hotties Everywhere

Let me be honest right up front that this post will contain no photos. I'm in the midst of a dual computer meltdown of epic proportions, and while I now have two running computers again, I have yet to reinstall any photo software. So think of this post as a magazine column, with my photo at the top and that is it. Oh, hey, I could even make it look like that:

(forgive me, I'm starting the summer vacation punchiness early)

"Hotties, Hotties, Everywhere"

My husband came up with the Quilting Hottie nickname for me several years ago, pre-third child body and back when I truly could pull off actually being hot. Now when he says it I am sure he mostly thinks of it as "she can sew on a binding and give me some lovin' all in the same evening - I am the world's luckiest man ever", and hey, if that's all it takes, I will keep the nickname. I've found that quilters enjoy joining me in being Quilting Hotties, happily slapping on the little pins I have made and wearing them proudly, and when I started this blog, I knew I had to have Quilting Hottie as part of the title.

Perhaps I should have given it more thought. If you don't believe me, go ahead and google "quilting hotties." But be forewarned - it will make that slightly suggestive sentence up there in my first paragraph seem practically virgintile.

But to me, the most amusing by-product of my blog name has come in the form of the list of "search keywords" on the stats page of my account here at blogger. You hotties can't see it, but as the owner of the blog I can, and do, check in on the stats from time to time to see what you are reading and how you are finding me. And the things you are putting into google to get sent here are awesome. Without further ado, my "Top Five Favorite Search Phrases That Lead Quilters to QHH":

1. "Hotties who quilt/hotyies in quilts"

Obviously, someone who have vaguely heard of me in passing just threw "hotties who quilt" in the google toolbar. I'm honored to have made the cut of hotties who quilt by google. In fact, on my google screen I appear to be the only one in existence. As for the "hotyies in quilts", I only hope that is another language because wow on the spelling.

2. "Using quilts to teach the gospel"

This one just befuddles me. Make no mistake, Jesus is my homeboy, but I don't believe I have ever created a pattern that could be described as a quilt that could be used to teach the gospel. Unless that gospel was "perfection is overrated." In any case, I found it a bit of a scream.

3. "The world's best quilt photo"

If by "best", we mean "passable", sure, I've got lots of those here. Pretty sure I was a disappointing find, though, for that person.

4. Quilting guilt

Is this a real thing? Do people actually suffer from this? I'm disturbed and a bit saddened that anyone would think quilting related guilt was a big enough problem in their life for them to sit down at the computer and google it in hope of finding a support group or something. I only hope that whoever found me that way found something to put them at ease here. I don't think it should come as a bit surprising to regular readers that I have never suffered any guilt related to my quilts.

5. "Hotties - photos of bikini clad chicks"

One word. Ew. And one promise. You will never find bikini clad chicks here, at least not until my daughters start demanding custom quilted bikinis when they are teenagers.

Google with care, my hotties. Google with care.

Storming the Festival

I recently returned home from Rochester NY, a town famous for two things:

1. I was born there.

and

2. The Genesee Valley Quilt Festival.

Since they were not planning any parades in celebration of my birth 40-some odd years ago, the Quilt Fest was going to have to do for a reason to return. So a week ago I hopped in the car on a dreary afternoon and headed down the Massachusetts Turnpike, rocking out to all sorts of 80s music on the radio and generally enjoying the moments of solitude before driving boredom was sure to set in. I needn't have worried. Not an hour into my drive, the sky opened up like a car wash, the winds were insane, and hailstones started hitting my car. I couldn't see two feet in front of me. Then, stuck 8 miles between exits off the pike in either direction, my radio starts beeping the National Weather Emergency beeps that normally are reserved only for tests in the middle of Elmo's World because there is a Flipping TORNADO in the vicinity. I had about 5 minutes of sheer panic attack not knowing where the hell to put myself and the car, and just kept going because everyone else on the road was doing the same. Visions of the 30-ish quilts belonging to myself and other members of NEQDC in my car cycloning over central Massachusetts filled my head - and then it was over as soon as it began, blue skies ahead. I later found out that yes, there was an F3 (does F stand for flipping? Because it should.) tornado less than 20 miles from where I was at that moment. Well, played, mom and my other guardian angels. Well played indeed.

So, as Cary Flanagan, one of my NEQDC colleagues who joined me on the trip (although she took the wimpy way out and drove through only beautiful weather the next day) noted, I can now "say for sure that neither hail, nor rain, nor tornados will keep me" from bringing EPQD to the masses. But I must admit I hope never to have it happen in such a dramatic fashion again. And my heart goes out to all those in MA who lost their homes or worse that afternoon. It was a freakish thing and truly terrifying.

Anyhoo, on to the show! Genesee Valley Quilt Guild is a 300+ member guild and they truly know how to put on a show. Over 1000 quilts, several traveling exhibits, a fashion show, two live auctions, and my personal favorite, the Iron Quilter competition. I was chomping at the bit to participate in that one; quilters were given 5 hours to create a quilt, start to finish, including quilting, binding, embellishment, sleeve and label , and when I tell you these quilts were A-Maz-Ing I am not giving them enough credit. Holy insane talent.

New England Quilt Designers Cooperative was one of 41 vendors at the show. Terri Sontra, another NEDQC member, and I arrived a day early to do set up and I must say we did a fantabulous job. If you have read our "Strength in Numbers" article in The Quilter (shameless plug), you will recall we often refer to setting up even a double booth with all of the samples from six designers as trying to fit 10 pounds of sugar in a five pound bag, and this time was no different. Thankfully we did have another show going on in Connecticut (where member Barbara Chojnacki was doing a bang up job representing us), so this time we were down several samples and that actually was a blessing. I snapped these photos toward the end of set up:

Note "Beth's Embellishmenty Corner," where I spent much of the weekend demo-ing my favorite glue, Jewel-it, and selling it by the truckload.

The show was held in the RIT Field House and was way cool to look down on from the upper track area. See that marquee on the left? It's a little blurry, but it says "New England Quilt Designers Cooperative" - all the vendors were scrolling all weekend long. Very cool. If you wonder where the people are, well, we'll admit this was the slow day, but these photos were also taken during the fashion show, so most people were sitting at the very end of the room enjoying that event.

Despite the tornadic experience of getting there, I'm so glad we participated. Not only was it a fun show, but I learned two very important things about the women who worked the booth with me:

1. Cary Flanagan (Something Sew Fine Design) unwinds in the evening with a Port and Orange Juice cocktail which is actually quite pretty.

2. Terri Sontra (Purple Moose Designs) has as crazy a life as I do and her dog receives a pension from the state of California. Love it.

God only knows what they learned about me.

Little did I know that

Forks on the left

Last year at Spring Market I enjoyed meeting some of the oilcloth vendors and salivating over their offerings. I'd never before considered using a material such as oilcloth for a sewing project, but being the risk taker that I am, I was definitely intrigued.

As with most of my sewing and quilting projects, an idea started to take shape in my head involving using oilcloth for kid-friendly placemats. I thought they might fill a niche that I as a quilter and mom of young kids felt was missing in what I call the "Quilted Placemat Craze of the early 201-'s." Yes, quilted placemats are gorgeous. Yes, they are a quick project to give a quilter serious "I didn't make another UFO, I made an actual object" satisfaction. But yes, they are ridiculously impractical for use with children, or dare I say, anyone messy. I name no names. So I figured wipeable, non-porous oilcloth might actually work for me. And my kids.

When I went to purchase some oilcloth, right next to it was chalkboard cloth. I then had a revelation right there in the fabric store, which is always very dangerous for my wallet and my sanity for the next two weeks while I figure out how to translate that revelation into a finished work, but this one actually came together pretty well.

The result is my "What's for Dinner?" table mats, featured this month in Quilt Pattern Magazine. Why do I love this project, other than the obvious practicality and adorability of it?

1. It features reverse appliqued place setting shapes, set as Miss Manners would approve (with the exception of the knife which I have been told has the blade reversed. Perfection is overrated.), so you can hand a stack of these babies to your kids and know that if they follow the shapes, your table will be set perfectly. And maybe someday, they will be able to set it from memory. Dare to dream, hotties. Dare to dream.

2. No more answering the question "Mom! What's for dinner?" 98 times between the hours of 4pm and 6pm. Or for three days prior to dinner as is the case with the 43 year old kid in my house. Again, I name no names. The plate area is just exactly the right size to write the menu for the evening, as long as said menu is not a 7 course meal. And if it is, I beg of you to please stop showing the rest of us up. When dinner is over, wipe the chalkboard cloth clean and you are ready to write tomorrow's menu.

3. Younger children might just get some help with their reading and writing, too. If dinner is a bit late because your Coq au Vin didn't coq properly, hand them some chalk and let them draw some letters and words. When they get bored of that, they can draw you standing in the kitchen swearing at the chicken or fighting with the spaghetti. The possibilities are endless.

"What's for Dinner" is available this month and next for all Quilt Pattern Magazine subscribers. Enjoy!