Hotties Hotties Everywhere

Let me be honest right up front that this post will contain no photos. I'm in the midst of a dual computer meltdown of epic proportions, and while I now have two running computers again, I have yet to reinstall any photo software. So think of this post as a magazine column, with my photo at the top and that is it. Oh, hey, I could even make it look like that:

(forgive me, I'm starting the summer vacation punchiness early)

"Hotties, Hotties, Everywhere"

My husband came up with the Quilting Hottie nickname for me several years ago, pre-third child body and back when I truly could pull off actually being hot. Now when he says it I am sure he mostly thinks of it as "she can sew on a binding and give me some lovin' all in the same evening - I am the world's luckiest man ever", and hey, if that's all it takes, I will keep the nickname. I've found that quilters enjoy joining me in being Quilting Hotties, happily slapping on the little pins I have made and wearing them proudly, and when I started this blog, I knew I had to have Quilting Hottie as part of the title.

Perhaps I should have given it more thought. If you don't believe me, go ahead and google "quilting hotties." But be forewarned - it will make that slightly suggestive sentence up there in my first paragraph seem practically virgintile.

But to me, the most amusing by-product of my blog name has come in the form of the list of "search keywords" on the stats page of my account here at blogger. You hotties can't see it, but as the owner of the blog I can, and do, check in on the stats from time to time to see what you are reading and how you are finding me. And the things you are putting into google to get sent here are awesome. Without further ado, my "Top Five Favorite Search Phrases That Lead Quilters to QHH":

1. "Hotties who quilt/hotyies in quilts"

Obviously, someone who have vaguely heard of me in passing just threw "hotties who quilt" in the google toolbar. I'm honored to have made the cut of hotties who quilt by google. In fact, on my google screen I appear to be the only one in existence. As for the "hotyies in quilts", I only hope that is another language because wow on the spelling.

2. "Using quilts to teach the gospel"

This one just befuddles me. Make no mistake, Jesus is my homeboy, but I don't believe I have ever created a pattern that could be described as a quilt that could be used to teach the gospel. Unless that gospel was "perfection is overrated." In any case, I found it a bit of a scream.

3. "The world's best quilt photo"

If by "best", we mean "passable", sure, I've got lots of those here. Pretty sure I was a disappointing find, though, for that person.

4. Quilting guilt

Is this a real thing? Do people actually suffer from this? I'm disturbed and a bit saddened that anyone would think quilting related guilt was a big enough problem in their life for them to sit down at the computer and google it in hope of finding a support group or something. I only hope that whoever found me that way found something to put them at ease here. I don't think it should come as a bit surprising to regular readers that I have never suffered any guilt related to my quilts.

5. "Hotties - photos of bikini clad chicks"

One word. Ew. And one promise. You will never find bikini clad chicks here, at least not until my daughters start demanding custom quilted bikinis when they are teenagers.

Google with care, my hotties. Google with care.